The last blog.....^^

Right now, it’s 0357 of a beautiful night of wads the date again… owh ok… 3rd September… I know I got to write this blog… but hahaha… I still do not have the mood to write it… But yeah…I still got to write it no matter what… so many ‘but’... oh gosh… My English is so lousy… hahaha... This gonna be last blog in this page for real… I have my reason for closing this page down… I mean not like closing it or deleting it… this page will stay on… a lot of my memories is in this page neh… hehe… okok… someone reading it probably will be asking why I’m closing down this page… this is because I need a space for me to let out my anger… this isn’t anymore… cuz I’ve been watching… I seriously do need this space for my own… and there is a hint… I will be using some other blog… and I’m not gonna tell anyone about it… hehehe…

Ok… this is end of 7th semester aka last semester… my diploma just ended… wohoo… suppose to be happy but it was indeed a very very sad semester... I would say the last semester was the worst among all other semester… hmmm… all the way, I have to care about things that I never want to care… Things that I never see it as problem… thanks to those who made me feel this way… Emotion… it was an emotion attack… when I think back of these, damn disappointed… why all have to acts this way… I sat down quietly at a corner and I cried… and I even cried to MPP coz of the way it went… hmmm… I am just so sad whenever think of it…

MPP…
Im just so so glad that things between us are so stable now… thanks for your tolerations… I know you’ve been crying as well think of things that happens… But don’t forget you got to be strong yea… you promised me… I already told you my decision for next semester… I told you because you would understand as if compared to others… Thanks for understand me so much… thanks for always being the support for me… ok… I want to stop thanking you ady… if not, I will be thanking you until tomorrow… MPP, there is one thing I want to tell you… You are emotionally not stable… often you get angry and sad before you get to know what the real thing behind… I hated it… cuz often I’m the victim in this emotion attack… I believe you could have just stood down a moment and think and asked for what happens seriously… And yea… lots of lots of stuff happened… we just managed to solve it… u r the only thing that I proud of about last semester, cuz I did managed to explained to you everything before I went back home… and yea… I know this does not mean the entire problem stops here… hahaha… human… the only creature will do mistakes over and over again… I dun like that statement but yeah what to do… hope we can always meet each other and have a big smile on our face and face life as though nothing will be the problem… the confidence that I can take care of everything and that I will face everything on my own… and the facts that we have friends side by side who will support us no matter what shall never be forgotten… As I told you, you are my biggest tree in my heart… I dun care whether I’m or not to you, but I will tell that I will support you whatever stuff that you do… even if one day, we are not that close as today, deep inside I will always support you… Tc, MPP…

Hmmm… ok… now, it’s time to my beloved CEW! Hey you… lol… I dunno how to tell sweet words to you… I told you, it’s just simply do not come out… because do not know y lar… it wasn’t just about dun feel like do so… And as you reply does not make me do so as well… hmmmm… and this happens today when I saw your replies as well… something for sure… I believe we have communication barrier eventhough we communicating in English... lol… I think my English is not good as yours and that’s why I couldn’t understand and feel the way you expressing your statements… hahaha… ok… what to say… almost everything I’ve told you… and couldn’t understand why you always will never understand… asking the same thing as if you do not even know anything but actually I told you all those stuffs ady… hmmm… I do not know what to say… everything will just get me pissed about you… I can’t help on it… because that’s what you always want to do… I still remember that moment that I fell for you… I was so happy and I hope it will last… but hmmm… it never did… yeah… I know at first was my mistakes that I got to settle up so many problems… shall I said sorry? Ok… Sorry for that… you’ve been waiting for me to settle my stuffs… oh god… thanks… that’s was so nice of you… I bet not every gf can do it… thanks lot again… but next is all about our problems… what to say… in this last blog, I wish to tell you more about myself… ok… first, I feel myself is more towards realistic and optimistic person… ok… and a very sensitive… when I said I dun like it, it means I dun like it… and here I tell you I dun like to simply waste time or money… Cuz this is something that is so called as scarce resources for me... lol… I hope whenever we spent time, we do spent some quality time… I remembered you posted in your FB… something like.... I dunno what to talk to you... but i wanna talk to you@ 27 August at 01:09, and one more which was long time ago, you said you just wished to be by my side and being silent and do nothing… It was something like tha… it sounds so sweet… good... I never deny that it was not sweet… but it wasn’t a quality time, baby… as I told you I’m much more realistic than you think… I hope every moment we able to spend, we able to do something that just being hugged… lol… first of all, I do not know why you do not like to be with me when I’m with my friends… you will be like you saw and the next second, you never saw me there Exception to these bunch of hostelians… great… for that moment, I wished a simple HI or HELLO… makes it perfect… never… You want me to spend time with you… ok… no problem… But what we are doing… Nothing basically… You couldn’t speak up in front of me… you want me go for movie… ok… I can just go (if I have money lar), but the happiness is not there if I go with you… because all the way, if I did not talk, it will be just equals to I bring a teddy bear… I booked a ticket for him and I’m hugging the teddy watch movie… very lame… I wish you could speak to me as how you speak to others… ok… this is another of your FB status… In a relationship we should share everything with our partner... not only share the happiness but also sorrow....it will make the bonding stronger and understand each other more....♥@ 26August at 1242… Hmmm… ok… You will never know how much I wish to tell you all my problem and share with you… I’ve seen you how you helped people around you and all… I admired you the way you are… I don’t know how when I tell you stuff it just got to get worst… and it’s like another new problem added into existing problem… and when a person are sad… I hope you able to comfort him/her rather than forcing him to tell what happens... And seriously… even if it’s bf and gf, not everything will be shared… because this is simply the facts of life… no matter you accept it or do not accept it… lots of time, I would just hope to listen you making me calm than making me even sad by asking what happen repeatedly… and as other women are, you are even more emotional… never think before talk should be the best describes you… do not know why… But it just like that… I already begged you not to be so emotionally affected… hmmm… never going to listen… and yea…I’m pretty sure it’s all we’ve discussed of… and I do purposely write again… for you to see it and remember again… you have long and short term memory loss as mine.. ok then… the reason why I asked you again… I remember a close of mine asked me before why do I need to couple up as I already have friends that gives me the best of everything… seriously…I was totally agree with her when she says that… when I need them, they were there for me and for everything but then why is there a need for you in my life… I thought of this question so long… seriously very long… after few weeks, I answered back… and I said because this is life… That’s how this suppose to be… life is adventurous… I will say my friends are serious the best for now but not for always and I do need a life partner… and CEW, I need you to understand this… I take life as a journey… Please refer to notes titled with quotes on life on my FB wall… every single bit of it, I mean it and I love the way it was written… you too scared to lose me… and haha… I will tell you, the more you scared the worst you are… enjoy your life… love me like you will never lose me… talk to me as though I’m your best friend… punch me and pinch me and fight with me as though I’m your enemy… love your life… and yeah… you stop care for me like I do not know anything… and I tell you again… I know how to take care if myself… seriously… and look at you… little bit little bit sick… you take care of yourself first… before you are able to comment or ask people to do so… and yeah… look around and look yourself, you are 18… not 8years… don’t always make stupid decisions… think wisely and care for yourself, woman! And yeah… I know I have a very high expectations as to be my wife… but I believe I already narrowed the scope… all I need is just a woman with matured thinking and know what to do and know what decision to make at correct time… simple to say… a matured woman! I’m sorry for always being busy and that’s how I always be… and right now I already have plans for my next semester… I did not tell you because of certain reasons that did not come into my mind… i don’t know what else to say… although there are so much of imperfect between us, but I do always love you… and you are the only one who can just get me pissed so easily… thanks to be the one… and love you… and this moment, I will tell you this again… I dun care what come next in my life… but the beautiful moment is I have you to always kacau for and fight with… although seriously hate this, but what to do.. This is life… And you… Accept the way life is… dun hold on something to much especially me… and do not ever tell me I cannot… because as I said I dun believe a ‘do not’ word in my life… when I thought of something, I will certainly achieve it… That’s me and how I will always be…

MPP again… As I writing this blog, I get to know your problem… totally very sad… hope everything will get ok fast… seriously hope everything will be ok… Damn… hmmmm… God bless you and whatever your doings always… hope for the miracle… and frankly I need the miracle as well…

Okok… guess gonna be end of this blog already… so damn sad to leave this page… but I got to… Here I would like to thanks t o blacksky-darkangel as it play as me in this page… and for being a space for me to shout out….=) ofr everyone outside there, especially all my friends, hope you all will get good result and I want to see a happy face of everyone on the 15th… I always love you all… especially to DAC5 together 09/10 batch… you guys are the best gift from the god for my diploma life… Very sad that I unable to join you guys for very event… I hate that I having this money problem… F***… hmmm… Whatever it is, hope my dreams will remain achievable… hope that miracles works… a special blessed for MPP!! And god blesses us all… MPP, you can do it… the dreams are achievable!!!

THANKS…