Black Sky

Black Sky

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The last blog.....^^

Right now, it’s 0357 of a beautiful night of wads the date again… owh ok… 3rd September… I know I got to write this blog… but hahaha… I still do not have the mood to write it… But yeah…I still got to write it no matter what… so many ‘but’... oh gosh… My English is so lousy… hahaha... This gonna be last blog in this page for real… I have my reason for closing this page down… I mean not like closing it or deleting it… this page will stay on… a lot of my memories is in this page neh… hehe… okok… someone reading it probably will be asking why I’m closing down this page… this is because I need a space for me to let out my anger… this isn’t anymore… cuz I’ve been watching… I seriously do need this space for my own… and there is a hint… I will be using some other blog… and I’m not gonna tell anyone about it… hehehe…

Ok… this is end of 7th semester aka last semester… my diploma just ended… wohoo… suppose to be happy but it was indeed a very very sad semester... I would say the last semester was the worst among all other semester… hmmm… all the way, I have to care about things that I never want to care… Things that I never see it as problem… thanks to those who made me feel this way… Emotion… it was an emotion attack… when I think back of these, damn disappointed… why all have to acts this way… I sat down quietly at a corner and I cried… and I even cried to MPP coz of the way it went… hmmm… I am just so sad whenever think of it…

MPP…
Im just so so glad that things between us are so stable now… thanks for your tolerations… I know you’ve been crying as well think of things that happens… But don’t forget you got to be strong yea… you promised me… I already told you my decision for next semester… I told you because you would understand as if compared to others… Thanks for understand me so much… thanks for always being the support for me… ok… I want to stop thanking you ady… if not, I will be thanking you until tomorrow… MPP, there is one thing I want to tell you… You are emotionally not stable… often you get angry and sad before you get to know what the real thing behind… I hated it… cuz often I’m the victim in this emotion attack… I believe you could have just stood down a moment and think and asked for what happens seriously… And yea… lots of lots of stuff happened… we just managed to solve it… u r the only thing that I proud of about last semester, cuz I did managed to explained to you everything before I went back home… and yea… I know this does not mean the entire problem stops here… hahaha… human… the only creature will do mistakes over and over again… I dun like that statement but yeah what to do… hope we can always meet each other and have a big smile on our face and face life as though nothing will be the problem… the confidence that I can take care of everything and that I will face everything on my own… and the facts that we have friends side by side who will support us no matter what shall never be forgotten… As I told you, you are my biggest tree in my heart… I dun care whether I’m or not to you, but I will tell that I will support you whatever stuff that you do… even if one day, we are not that close as today, deep inside I will always support you… Tc, MPP…

Hmmm… ok… now, it’s time to my beloved CEW! Hey you… lol… I dunno how to tell sweet words to you… I told you, it’s just simply do not come out… because do not know y lar… it wasn’t just about dun feel like do so… And as you reply does not make me do so as well… hmmmm… and this happens today when I saw your replies as well… something for sure… I believe we have communication barrier eventhough we communicating in English... lol… I think my English is not good as yours and that’s why I couldn’t understand and feel the way you expressing your statements… hahaha… ok… what to say… almost everything I’ve told you… and couldn’t understand why you always will never understand… asking the same thing as if you do not even know anything but actually I told you all those stuffs ady… hmmm… I do not know what to say… everything will just get me pissed about you… I can’t help on it… because that’s what you always want to do… I still remember that moment that I fell for you… I was so happy and I hope it will last… but hmmm… it never did… yeah… I know at first was my mistakes that I got to settle up so many problems… shall I said sorry? Ok… Sorry for that… you’ve been waiting for me to settle my stuffs… oh god… thanks… that’s was so nice of you… I bet not every gf can do it… thanks lot again… but next is all about our problems… what to say… in this last blog, I wish to tell you more about myself… ok… first, I feel myself is more towards realistic and optimistic person… ok… and a very sensitive… when I said I dun like it, it means I dun like it… and here I tell you I dun like to simply waste time or money… Cuz this is something that is so called as scarce resources for me... lol… I hope whenever we spent time, we do spent some quality time… I remembered you posted in your FB… something like.... I dunno what to talk to you... but i wanna talk to you@ 27 August at 01:09, and one more which was long time ago, you said you just wished to be by my side and being silent and do nothing… It was something like tha… it sounds so sweet… good... I never deny that it was not sweet… but it wasn’t a quality time, baby… as I told you I’m much more realistic than you think… I hope every moment we able to spend, we able to do something that just being hugged… lol… first of all, I do not know why you do not like to be with me when I’m with my friends… you will be like you saw and the next second, you never saw me there Exception to these bunch of hostelians… great… for that moment, I wished a simple HI or HELLO… makes it perfect… never… You want me to spend time with you… ok… no problem… But what we are doing… Nothing basically… You couldn’t speak up in front of me… you want me go for movie… ok… I can just go (if I have money lar), but the happiness is not there if I go with you… because all the way, if I did not talk, it will be just equals to I bring a teddy bear… I booked a ticket for him and I’m hugging the teddy watch movie… very lame… I wish you could speak to me as how you speak to others… ok… this is another of your FB status… In a relationship we should share everything with our partner... not only share the happiness but also sorrow....it will make the bonding stronger and understand each other more....♥@ 26August at 1242… Hmmm… ok… You will never know how much I wish to tell you all my problem and share with you… I’ve seen you how you helped people around you and all… I admired you the way you are… I don’t know how when I tell you stuff it just got to get worst… and it’s like another new problem added into existing problem… and when a person are sad… I hope you able to comfort him/her rather than forcing him to tell what happens... And seriously… even if it’s bf and gf, not everything will be shared… because this is simply the facts of life… no matter you accept it or do not accept it… lots of time, I would just hope to listen you making me calm than making me even sad by asking what happen repeatedly… and as other women are, you are even more emotional… never think before talk should be the best describes you… do not know why… But it just like that… I already begged you not to be so emotionally affected… hmmm… never going to listen… and yea…I’m pretty sure it’s all we’ve discussed of… and I do purposely write again… for you to see it and remember again… you have long and short term memory loss as mine.. ok then… the reason why I asked you again… I remember a close of mine asked me before why do I need to couple up as I already have friends that gives me the best of everything… seriously…I was totally agree with her when she says that… when I need them, they were there for me and for everything but then why is there a need for you in my life… I thought of this question so long… seriously very long… after few weeks, I answered back… and I said because this is life… That’s how this suppose to be… life is adventurous… I will say my friends are serious the best for now but not for always and I do need a life partner… and CEW, I need you to understand this… I take life as a journey… Please refer to notes titled with quotes on life on my FB wall… every single bit of it, I mean it and I love the way it was written… you too scared to lose me… and haha… I will tell you, the more you scared the worst you are… enjoy your life… love me like you will never lose me… talk to me as though I’m your best friend… punch me and pinch me and fight with me as though I’m your enemy… love your life… and yeah… you stop care for me like I do not know anything… and I tell you again… I know how to take care if myself… seriously… and look at you… little bit little bit sick… you take care of yourself first… before you are able to comment or ask people to do so… and yeah… look around and look yourself, you are 18… not 8years… don’t always make stupid decisions… think wisely and care for yourself, woman! And yeah… I know I have a very high expectations as to be my wife… but I believe I already narrowed the scope… all I need is just a woman with matured thinking and know what to do and know what decision to make at correct time… simple to say… a matured woman! I’m sorry for always being busy and that’s how I always be… and right now I already have plans for my next semester… I did not tell you because of certain reasons that did not come into my mind… i don’t know what else to say… although there are so much of imperfect between us, but I do always love you… and you are the only one who can just get me pissed so easily… thanks to be the one… and love you… and this moment, I will tell you this again… I dun care what come next in my life… but the beautiful moment is I have you to always kacau for and fight with… although seriously hate this, but what to do.. This is life… And you… Accept the way life is… dun hold on something to much especially me… and do not ever tell me I cannot… because as I said I dun believe a ‘do not’ word in my life… when I thought of something, I will certainly achieve it… That’s me and how I will always be…

MPP again… As I writing this blog, I get to know your problem… totally very sad… hope everything will get ok fast… seriously hope everything will be ok… Damn… hmmmm… God bless you and whatever your doings always… hope for the miracle… and frankly I need the miracle as well…

Okok… guess gonna be end of this blog already… so damn sad to leave this page… but I got to… Here I would like to thanks t o blacksky-darkangel as it play as me in this page… and for being a space for me to shout out….=) ofr everyone outside there, especially all my friends, hope you all will get good result and I want to see a happy face of everyone on the 15th… I always love you all… especially to DAC5 together 09/10 batch… you guys are the best gift from the god for my diploma life… Very sad that I unable to join you guys for very event… I hate that I having this money problem… F***… hmmm… Whatever it is, hope my dreams will remain achievable… hope that miracles works… a special blessed for MPP!! And god blesses us all… MPP, you can do it… the dreams are achievable!!!

THANKS…

Sunday, July 10, 2011

LOL!!! i cried again....

STRESSED!!!

dunno what else to say ady... today family problem pulak... whole way since morning ok only... suddenly started... it's like dunno what's the source of these problem... hmmmmm... just dunno what to say... no peace at no where... go college sama, sini pun sama... kadavuley... hmmmmm.... Do not wish to write more... wanna finish up my assignent.... teared when suddenly dad said things to me.... hmmmmm... hope everything goes well next week... seriously die hearted!! wadeva happen just let it be... never been this sad in my entire life.... yet.. still smiling after the cry and told myself..............

DARKANGEL!!! Cheer up... things happens for reasons... Things happens(BBCC's quote)... i will tryto get use to it...=)

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Recently....

Oh my gosh!!! what a life... Hmmmmm... It's been alot alot of stress.... friends, family, studies... bla bla bla.... hmmmm... just alot of stuff... eveything can be just solved easily... but again.. it's human to make things much more complicated..... hmmmm...

I've dreamt anout loads of stuffs... and i certainly believe all was crushed... everything never as i wanted... but what to do.. that does not mean i got to give up.. i got to study and finish all these assginments... and do all these test.. get proper results... study to get scholarship.. study for better work in future.... hmmmm....

before this i so love to come to college.... cuz i can meet all my frens... hv fun with them.. play with them.. study with them... but nowadays... things are all diff... im so wished to be happy with my besties especially WL... but it looks like never gonna happen... Why cant i just get a proper week with this girl.. as how we was before... come on!!! you were my best fren... i know deep inside you are a girl as well... i know about your characters as well.... do you know how much priority i've given for you when i actually not suppose to... do you know how much effort i put in for you to be happy.. do you how hard is it to put on a smile face eventhough i know you are sad... do you know how hard is it when i can't help you when you ada problem! and do you how much do i need a proper week in my life... solution you know is with you... and i know you tried... and i seriously speechless for wadeva it's happening... WL... in this entire sem... i hope we can make one happy week... seriously....
There is no one can replace the you in my heart.. i always talk proud about you although i do tease yoular.. because i understand and appreciate how much you meant for me.. only i know and understand it... there are no one can be like you.. you are seriously one of a kind... but frankly.. you changed alot.. you still do care for me.. i can see it.. but please let happiness flow into ur heart... you are restricting alot of things in your life... but please not happiness... everything in this life is because of our decision... serious... you can mae decision... you can change this... YOU CAN!!!! please... stop crying... understand... emotion is just part of life... please do not make it as your life... cuz you are just affecting people around you... especially me.... i love the way we were and i believe the future will make us as A better person.. WL... Hope we can do it... yang yang... ahbuu....=) AND YEA...an shi ni xi huan ni de ren shi shui?? hehehe.... smile bah....=)


ctw ah... i hope you always doing good... hmmm... about you pulak... dunno wad else to say... speechless... totally speechless... hope when you got things, you talk to me straight.... i do always give us time to meet... it's like i dunno lar... certain stuff you want but never will tell me... hmmm... dunno lar.. i dunno why you got to be so blur... lots of time lar.... and you know we are not using the same hp network... it's shall give us certain limit to talk... as in important stuff... but it's like only that time you got to be so damn blur... hmmmm... alot of stuff i believe you can change, monkey! and please... dont merajuk fast... and dun tell me merajuk oso no point cuz i won't care... i think im doing the good stuff being not care... cuz im not in the state of mind where i can care for everyone properly... i know im a lousy bf... but sorry.. this is who i am... sorry again... just please think better when you do stuff... i believe you are not at your best... i know you are way better in your thinking.... i liked you first of all because of the way you think and do stuffs... but recently quite disappointed... alot of stuff... i unable to tell you straight to face cuz i tend to forget before meeting you and also cuz i hope when we meet, we spend time properly... i do not wish to tell you problems cuz the way you are nowdays as well.. i tell you problem, you get emo... and so wads the point i tell you problem then... hmmmmm.... i tell you problem in a way want you to help me solve it but you are emoing or merajuk sometimes and i do not know why you are like this... and lastly!!! please take care of urself... not a single week i would not listen you complaint for ur stomach pain... oh gosh.... i feel so bad... i couldn't do anything... please do consult doctors or do anything but i dun wan to c u suffer like this... haiz.... take care, sayang... and yea... let me slip properly dei!!! i'm seriously damn tired... if you know i'm slipping, please give me time to rest... lol...


Hmmmm... god... please help me... i hope things will turned all out to be good before this semester ends!!! i want to have atleast a proper, happy one damn week of my diploma 7th semester.... seriously!! i need it so badly.... i hope one whole damn week..i wish to smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please... i need my long lost happiness back to myself...

THIS IS HOW I BEEN RECENTLY AND WHAD I WANT RECENTLY....

Monday, May 30, 2011

Cinema Hero…

All the while, I tot of settling this stuff… Haha… but I was always too clever to make decision on my own… I know I’ve never made proper decisions… Hmmmm…. Things should always ruin… Everyone said it’s impossible… But I was like some cinema hero try to fly when we know that’s impossible... I want to be like cinema hero and solve all those problem all on my own and keep lose track… and now, I know I’m far away from the proper track… lose confident… I believe I’ve fallen… Mentally I’m… But I’d cover stuff as though nothing happen… No one can stop love that flowing in their veins… Well… I tried… It’s not purposely… It was for her to be better… hmmmm… I guess whoever reading this should be blur and do not know what I’m blabbering about… hahaha…

These words keep on haunting me… She said… I’m the one be by her side, I’m the one gave her hopes to stand up back, I’m the one gave her faith in love and now I’m the one taking all back… hmmmm… true!!! Exactly… How could I? These words are enough to kill me… I’m listening to this all this moment… Even now, it’s repeating in my mind… hmmmm… I dunno what else to say ady… feel like put a full stop in this whole stuff… Why I am giving up again? I wanna run away from this whole thing once and for all… but I couldn’t… hmmmm… I cant see her crying… I seriously cant… that was the last things that I want to see…

Wad I will say??? I have faith in myself… I know wad I did was correct… CTW, listen to me… Remember back the whole situation we talk today morning… I meant every single thing!! EVERY SINGLE THING!!! God bless me… I will come back… I hope I’m not just being some cinema hero try to fly… tHis time I wanna show I will fly!! I’m sorry… I will be back… that’s for sure!! Wipe off your tears…

For me, I know I’m behind all these pains… The amount of pain I gave to both side… it’s the biggest sin I’ve ever done… I hope you guys can help me be better… Please… I’ve done my sacrifice… I’m taking this pain all to myself… It’s all my fault!! All mine!!! im crying myself… I’ve fallen in sick… Hmmmm… I never know I was such a retarded… haiz… I’m sorry to both of you!!!

T.T

Loves,
Darkangel

Monday, May 2, 2011

Appreciate and Enjoy Every Moment of Life

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To! realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when

you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.


Hmmmm... Quite a nice poem it was... Hmmmm.... This is what i going to talk about... Treasuring stuff what it still with us... Hmmmm... For this moment, I ain't scared if i broke up coz i gonna love her like my beautiful baby princess and love her like all sweet things in this world... for this moment, i wish to be with all my friends and go through cool time with all of them... Hmmm... Diploma life gonna ends... I'm type of do thinks of sad stuff rather than being happy for what i had... Hmmmm... Normal lar... I always thinks about things that i failed... I bet alot of people do admire me and the way I am... Hmmmmm... Serious to say, my life maybe near to perfect... Hmmmm... But there is still something that I always depressed of... Hmmmm... Alot of things had been past tense in my life... But there is a single pain that wish i could stop at this moment... Hmmmmm.... Hmmmm.... Really to say... This problem was entirely abt me... If I was straight forward that time, it would be better... Caring for people was not wrong... But if care too much and crossing limits it's wrong!!! For how much I given to you, sometimes I do regret... Hmmmmm... Everytime, I hoped you learn, end's up it's such a big failure... hMmmmm.... It ends up, now only you want to listen to what i want to say... I read your diary... The more I read, the more guilty I gets... Please dont because of this and you stop posting up... I do want to see how you going through it... Hmmmm... Sad!!!! Depressed!!! You say you need time... Hmmmm... I understand... But time is not for me... Hmmm... alot of stuff I couldnt tell you and her... Hmmmm... Sometimes I get so pissed and want to throw everything away.. but I guess it's not the time to give up ... It's time to stay strong... hmmmmm... Things between me and her gets hard especially comes to you... Hmmmm... It's not about you... It's about me and my decisions... Hmmmm.... I do not know why i repeating my mistakes, it just like alot of thing i got no choice... Hmmmm...And ends up with a very big problem... Hmmmmm... How in the world i gonna explain my feelings to people around me... Hmmmm... the things is not my fault but in the end it's my fault... Hmmmm... I still not use to blame on other people when it comes to a mess that i'm being in or maybe this mess that i created... hMmmmmm... Now that i'm in it, i wish everything can stop... Hmmmmmm.... To you... I'm sorry wadeva sadness that i brought into your life... I still look at it as sweet memories... Please dun go through this moment so hard asthough you are in so much pain... Hmmmm... This moment... i tot of a quote.. It says no pain, no gain... hmmmm.... you are always one of the best part of my life as i always says... tHis do not changes no matters whoeva in my life now... You are the best friend i've ever met!!! I hope none of this thing will ruined our friendship... But when i look at you, now i'm scared.. hMmmmm.... Dun only live in scared of losing stuff, come out from that world and treasure whadeva you have now... Look at the last word from that poem... God bless you... And believe me.. Appreciate your life abit... You ask me to think about myself more, dun only help others always... And you also!!!! The same goes to you!!! For your information, you are worst than me... Hmmmmm... A sincere thanks for whadeva you've done for me... And yea.. I love that jacket alot... Hmmmm... One last thing... Dun find a reasons to start doing something... If you want to achieve it, you should do it now... Time will never wait... I know you tried... I know im talking and thinking only by my shoes... Hmmmm... I know how much you are going through... Hmmmm... Maybe... I dunno what to say leh... Im sorry!!!!!!=(
And to my loved the most... I know you are kinda sad about us... Hmmmmm.... How to say... for certaiN stuff, im very sorry sayang... I promise i will a better man for you.... For how much love that you showed me, thanks would not be just enough.. Hahaha... You are the best thing i ever had in this journey of my life as well... I wan to share every single bit of my life with you.. My life is just so happy with you... Come and teman me in this life, sayang... FOREVER AND EVER LOVE WILL KEEPS US TOGETHER, sayang... MUAX!!!! LOve you dei....=)

And i just want to treasure every single things in this life and whatever i have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

22 April 2011=)

Ok… I was hesitating so long to write a blog… I should have written blogs by now… but it just that, I’m scared… I scared I going to lie in this page… This page supposes to be a page that I want to tell out every single thing in me... A place to let me shout out… a place to rest as well… Hmmmm… For so long, I was scared to write a blog but no longer now… why I got to be scared... Things will be much better if I tell out things… Things always been like that… I know it’s kinda my fault to tell everything out… It just that, I’m scared it would hurt others… Hmmmm… And today I convinced myself that I should not care about other people feelings in this page... This is just for me and me and me…. =)

WL
All these while it is about you that I’m so scared of. I plan to write this blog after I saw your diary… Hmmmm… I believe there are a lot of question marks in your heart. And my dear WL, whatever things that I should tell you, I already done telling you… Hmmmm… Things between us are just so difficult!! WL, I believe you do understand now… It’s just that the way you have been and I have been was so different… WL!!! I do not know what I’m writing here… It’s like full of crap and bullshits… Hmmmm… In this blog I would like to answer few questions from your diary… That I wish to highlight it and explain to you… And yea!!! Just before I explain anything, I wish tell my sincere thanks for the 1000stars, the 50hour prayers, and the prayer with subang fella yesterday (22/4). That was so nice of you… You know what, he said you over-think and over-worried… I felt the same too… I do sense the good heart of you that prays for me to be alright but hmmmm… do not know what to say… Thanks a lot… That does mean a lot to me… Thanks again… Hmmmm... I wish to explain two things from your entire diary… First… “B4 end tis diary, my dear, I’m blur…I do not know wad to do…should I continue pretend bz or msg properly vf u??? I knw u vl happy if I msg properly vf u, bt how bout her??? Hmmm……” This was one part one your diary that I wish to explain… U should know where that line comes from… WL… I told you ady… Stop giving yourself too much pressure… Why do you even need to pretend busy? You said you want give us more time… Bullshit!!!!!! You know I reply you late now days and this is something that you can’t take it… Hmmmm… You just msg me and wait… Like how you sometimes wait for ah Yap… I know I and him are different… a lot of things you don’t give me chances as well… all because you being so “ba dao”… I hope you understand… WL… This thing I believe I told you… WL, in this problem, there is only me and you... There are not such things as she in this problem… I want to make things clear!!! Problem is just about me and you… Why do you even care about what happens if she don’t like? That’s a problem between me and her if she don’t like… We can still be friends as usual… This is what you want as well… And exactly yea!!! Look at me normally… Just that, now my times and I will be more towards her… It still does not change things between me and you… You are still the big tree in my heart… She is not here to replace you… Your place is irreplaceable… And same goes to her… Her place in my heart is a new thing in my life… I’m experiencing a whole damn new thing in my life… The whole new thing is about her… WL, you told me today… You said whatever it’s, please don’t change the friendship between us… And yeah!! I never change anything about it… I know I was abit cold… It was because I scared that I give you more feelings… And I understand now that I should not do that…I think I know better what I should do… Ok? As I said the conclusion is you should have your own brain to thinks what’s best to do… And I should have my own brain to think what I should do also… I hope you clear about this part… Second things, it’s about 27/4… I know you desperately need sometime to talk to me properly… WL!!! I wish to spend some time to talk properly to you… And I’m not scared lar…=.=... I seriously can’t make it the whole day… Hmmm… Believe me… You will get to talk to me and hear things about us before semester starts… ok?? And yeah!!! I still very disappointed with what you’ve done to yourself… I was so xin tong when I saw that… I don’t believe when you do that… Heart breaks when I saw your hand… Haiz… Still totally DISAPPOINTED… That was never the one I know…. Hmmmm… And yeah… about you Aunt… Hmmm… I never thought she will do that… WL… Glad that your dad understands… Hmmmm… Just remember this in your life… Be strong WL…. I will support you always… I know how your mind thinks… Work hard in your life and show them who you are…=) I think I’m going to stop about you here… Hmmmm… Remember… Chill down… When got things that you wan to talk, talk straight to me… And act normal!!! Let’s put a full stop in our problem and you can see me happy as you always wanted… Hope we can be like Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan… hahaha…=)

CTW!!!
Hahaha… That name itself draws a big big smile on my face…=) Thanks were the first word that crosses my mind after I write so much about WL… I know somehow you got to feel uneasy when I talk about me and her all the time when I’m being with you… I can see you tolerate in this thing a lot… Hmmmm… Just thanks, Sayang… Hmmmm… I couldn’t have been through this much without your toleration as well… Thanks again… My CTW… at this moment I am quite speechless about you… but there things that I wants to tell you… CTW, whatever between me and you now was simply awesome… In my whole life, I dreamt about getting a girl that I will love so much... that I will want to show and give everything to her… I’m seriously so glad that it’s you… I’m certainly very sure that I and you going to go very far… I never felt this kind of things before… As I said, the presence of you is like brand new thing in my life… I’m seriously very glad and happy to have you in my life… When it comes to why I chose you, I believe I do not need any reason to tell why I love you and I’m telling that it’s the matter of the heart why I fell for you… CTW… There is nothing much I could describe of until today… I just would tell that… Sayang, I LOVE YOU!!!!! And my days with you are superb… Thanks a lot… Those moment that I get to spend with you was cool and lovely… I think I won’t be writing blogs for you… This will be the last blogs for you... I want to be straight to you and face the entire problem together with you… I want to share and go through my beautiful journey with you… And Sayang, I’m not gonna let you go easily… Basically, I’m not gonna let you go… I’m just so into you… For now, I want to know more about you… Until this moment, I just love everything that you done to me… And hell yeah!!! My CTW, love you so much… I have faith in us and in love again…

This is a message to the world… I want you out there to know that, I’m not gonna fall again and hell yea!!! Once my problems are settled and being better… You can see the rising of new ME!!! I’m going up and up and up… To the world, prepare for a great change… Darkangel is just being great enough to be at the best and at the top of the world… hahaha…=) And I mean it… I’m looking forward for the day to arise...=)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

There goes another semester and another year!!!!!!!!!!!!~love you all lots=)

Another semester… and another year… another glimpse of my eye… so damn fast… Everything just go like normal… I’m getting older… haiz… Why do I have to get old…XD A lot of things happen in last semester… It started like a mess but thanks to WL, she helped me a lot to bring my days back to normal… thanks… before the semester finish, I transferred a lot of movie into my lappy… and I install FIFA2011 and Call of Duty into my lappy as well… And that’s the only thing that I gonna do in this semester break… This semester examination was abit crap… This is the first time I did so many silly mistakes in my papers… Hope I will get all my Aces…hope all my wishes come true… I wanna be a distinction student… Hmmmm… There is nothing much to talk about but I wanna make a summary for some of my loved ones…=)

Goldfish…
I do not know what to tell about this girl except than hahaha… Hmmmm… I can’t make any assumptions yet… and for sure I should not make any assumptions for her because who knows what her problem is… But just hope she can reply my messages as usual and let’s get back as friend… I’m waiting for your return…=) It’s not worthwhile to lose a friend like you… And hey, remember you promise me to go out with you… do not forget…=)

LW…
This guy is another guy in my class that I start to admire of… He does not have any good looking appearance… he might be fat but what I know his heart is full of fats of love and care… He is smart not someone very stingy or selfish… quite a good joker… he makes everyone laugh in my class…=) the most important things, he is now closer to my besties in my class… Kinda jealous by the way… hahaha… sorry… but I don’t mind now... because a lot of thing I feel like let it go by this semester… include two of my besties… I feel like I shouldn’t care about them anymore… Ok!!! Come back to him, just nothing to talk about this guy anymore… he just someone that I admire the MOST in my class… More than anyone in my class… Well… he’s not the smartest but he is the best…=) I love the time we spent together… hope everything goes well for you and your entire life…. All the best, my friend…

My fiancĂ©e…
All the while, I was admiring of your good things in you… but just do not know why, there were a lot of mistakes that you do this semester… kinda hate it when I have to mention it… Just don’t like to see you like this… sometimes kinda childish… well… I have to say you kinda changed… but whatever it is. I can’t hate you much… because I used to love you much… you are the first girl that I like and I spent my time with when we came into college… My first impression on you is pretty good… That’s why everything in between us is so good… I can’t show my face to you… I can’t get a reason for that… but well… it’s end of another semester… there is something to tell you… it’s the end of fifth semester… And throughout this whole damn five semester, there is someone who like to comment about me and you… it do always happen to me… one of it is my ex gf… Hmmmm… it seriously gets me pissed… And I seriously don’t like to be compared… Haiz… Whatever it is… after this semester, I gonna let you go… I felt like I’m the only holding you all so tight and like listening to you all and so on… and I guess no need le bah… From next semester onwards, there is something for me to focus on… and yeah, I not gonna care that much of you all… but still from my bottom of my heart, you are one of them that I will always care about…=)

Tachi…
It’s been a sweet semester for both of us… I mean we are better… kinda enjoyed the time I spent with you… All have been good I guess… nothing to say much already… It’s time to you go as well… I do not know why… It’s a feeling… whatever between us is so good ady… and I do not understand why I am doing this… just like, my heart always want to be alone… but when I’m being alone, I hope there’s someone be with me… hmmmm…. Basically, I do not understand about myself either… hmmmm… come back to Tachi… Tachi, I always wanna do something for you… Just something special that I can give you… but till now, I do not know what to give to you… Hmmmm… Btw, you are always the one unpredictable… love you always, Tachi… Hope everything best always come to you… hope you are gifted with a wonderful life… and yeah!! I will always care about you…=)

Vino…
Hey girl, nothing much to tell you… Ur heart is still such a mess… You are confused about so many things… You are weak… But let me tell you… what you are facing are a great competitor named LIFE… It’s ain’t easy… Full of new story and new twist… And you are such a baby to this world yet… And so do me… There is a lot of things we should face… And hope you won’t fall for the second time… Just look at problem cool and chill… Think of it properly… You are still young... A lot of things, you can choose… take your time… think wisely and choose… and remember you fix your life… the law of attraction said what you think, you become… ok… proud have a sister like you… I would love to hear from you more…=)
Loves…

WL…
Hmmmm… hahaha… I do not where to start… first of all… thanks for everything that you did for me… I know you care for me… There’s a lot of thing between us… I spend most of time with you... We fought almost all of time… we eat ice cream and chocolate to cool down… and we always talks to solve our problem… we study together… dinner together, lunch together, breakfast together… hahaha… I could not complain that I’m bored of you because I know you will kill me…xP… We are so closed together…all other perceive that we are couples… but only we do know that we are not… Hmmm… Things between us are so much… Can’t list down everything in here…=) You are the only I can’t let go among everyone… Kinda sad to tell this... Because I always want you to have your own space… get to know more new friends… go do some girl stuffs like shopping and all… But you’ve always failed… if you want to know, I do not like you always be with me as well… because sometimes I got to change my mind of my things just to be with you… I will be thinking a lot about you… I hope you are alright all the moment and hope you are not bored as well… If like this, how could I leave you alone… Even when I go for football, I will want you to follow… I do not know why you can’t understand… And there’s one thing I got to tell you… The more you scared, the more it happens… That was what I learned from the movie “The Secret”… Stop scared about those crap… and live our current moment to the most… Make everyone happy… Do not just stand in your box and see what you’re looking now and always live in there… WL, you have to come out and see more things… I understand how your past life was… but just do not make the same mistake again and again… I hope this blog are not making you sad or what... I just want you to know what I’m thinking… sometimes, there’s not much thing I can tell you face to face... most of things, I prefer to write… So, I write out my heart voice for you to understand… Desperately, I want you to know all these… You are the only one I can’t let go yet… I felt happy for both of the others… Hmmmm… Btw, things between us are too much… I loved all the moment that I spend with you… I am seriously happy for it… and believe me… I’m writing this with my smiley on my face… Sometimes, you can get so adorable and cute… Sometimes, you are just like a monster who wants a fight with me… hahaha… it means annoying… hehehe… you gave spices to my life… Hmmmm… There are still a lot of things I have to talk to you, remember me yea… And yea... I would wanna say a million of thanks for everything that you did for me… Sorry for things that I hurt you… And my dear, stop thinking about what is coming up and scared for it… think about what is going on now… And weyh… I hope for a good talk when we meet… I will always be beside you and support you… You are the one I’ve been thinking so much lately… Just love the way it is between me and you… The good we should make it better… The bad, we should change… You are just the one I am cared of the most now…=) Love you lots for everything you done, my dear friend…=) Hope both of us will always fight and laugh all the time=)

Hmmmm… Yea… I think that’s all… My life getting better… thanks for WL especially… I like the way it is now… And hope it will be better in coming days… I know my life gonna be better for sure… Next semester, after the conference… I’m seriously gonna workout… hope things goes well for me… I know I shall do it…=) What else to tell… I love everything around me right now… Thank god for this wonderful life… I shall not regret anymore… Thanks to all of sweet ones especially my FAMA… love you all lots…=)