I'm going to be real fine... Believe me for this time...

Hahaha...
I know this can be funny...
But things just done right...
WE talked on the phone yesterday...
I didn't know you was that cruel...
lol.. just kidding...
But things have to be like that right...
then, just leave it lar...
I know i wont get an answer from you..
maybe you sick of telling it...
And things just wont be fine...
But i let this go ady...
When i say im done, IM DONE...
I know about me...
That's it...
If you could read this...
I know you would be happy too...
Just dont let sadness controls your heart..
I got to fond things to do every night...
i don't know what...
But i've to try...
Hahahaha... This laugh again...
It remembers about me...
I have to learn more...
This is life...
I gotta change... Cuz this is life too...
Before it's too late...
I bring both my hand together
and sincerely
IM sorry, dear BBCC!!!
I'm going to be real fine...
Sometimes, i do realise...
I'm special...
I deserve something special...
I going to be real good...
Real Good!!!!!!!!!!!
I got this feeling...
Goodbye, life...
It's a whole new chapter of life...
A girl gone as a girlfriend and she will be my best friend as ever...^^
She will find this out soon...^^
Thank you, people beside me...
A new chapter with the same Darkangel...
but with a new heart...^^
And as a new person...^^
someone who is smart and handsome always...=P

It’s about you again, my past life…My love is mature love, What about yours??

I don’t know why… It’s been very new for me… I’m like an idiot all around hostel… My college life is so busy… After I’m back to hostel… I feel so empty… just so empty… like I lost my soul… I’m finding my soul back… Hmmm… Very hard to tell how I’m feeling… just so hard… I’m following the bunch of juniors… advising them, play with them and spend my night with them… But it’s not perfect yet rite?? Hey, I need you badly… Seriously, I need you be beside me all the time… As how we was… Hmmmm… Haiz… Wish I could turn all my time back… I’m sorry…

~ (hahaha… Why I have to write like this?? I do need her… But should I stop it?? Hahaha… how lar??? I can’t ignore my feeling)

I loved two girls before… I went all the way for them… I’m not doing this for fun… Why things are just like this?? Was me the wrong one huh??? I need an answer!!! Please… Can you tell me…? Especially you, BBCC… I don’t understand how you girls can do this… You will just love a guy… after that, you guys come and tell the guys that you all lost feeling?? How you all can just tell asthough nothing happen… And BBCC, you ignored the feeling… Because of this, I’m suffering almost every moment… Huh??? Can you explain everything for me??? I still can’t even lose whatever feeling that you gave me… what’s happening to this world?? If you said you lost your lovely bear or toy, it’s acceptable… If you said you lost a feeling, are you girls kidding?? How?? Tell me how!!! Can you all explain??? The answer is just like that... I lost my feelings lar… I want to study… Haiz… BBCC, I dun believe when you tell this to me… you told me people changes… hahaha… You deserve my slap!!!

Hmmmm… I went to temple, I can’t find my peace even at there… I kept thinking about you… Instead of praying for myself, I prayed atleast you own that peace… When I was on the way back from temple… I have to see things that I’m not supposed to see... Haiz… I do not know, why god has to test me like this?? I’m still under insomnia… Have to cry everyday and think of everything about us… Monday, I was telling my friend about my problem… I know you because of this friend… She told me to move on and everything… She understands me somehow… We was walking around the college hostel, you was jumping and playing around with your friends… Something in me dies… How come you can be so happy?? Maybe you were just like what my friend told… You already moved on… It’s just me still staying behind and hasn’t moved on… And that night, you messaged me… Hahaha… I do not know why… You were so good that night… You cared about my feelings… I feel like I can’t trust you no more… It’s just like you scared I would tell wrong things about you to her… haiz… Hey, BBCC… I don’t like you anymore… Why you have to be like this…?

I trusted you more than anyone else… I know you were clear about this too… I just feel so much regretted now… My roomie told me not to commit in relationship but I wasn’t listening… Because of a reason called I love you, I committed in this… It’s ok… When I thought of I’m still fighting with my brother just because of you, seriously, I felt ashamed!!! Haiz… But still I will be on your side and defend you because it’s my promise… Hey… I do understand one thing... It’s I loved you… And you were also but for 4days… lolx… I can’t stop laughing… It’s not love… It was a game time for you… You told me you were sincere for that four day… Hahaha… Good, BBCC… I like your sincerity there… And please don’t talk about the reason why we broke up ok?? It’s totally about you and immature love… But please don’t do this again in your life… It hurts a lot… Hurts damn a lot…

Maybe I deserve this… I take this as a punishment and a lesson to be learnt with a lot a lot of sweet memories… She is a bitter gourd coated with sugar… Feels nice and sweet initially… At last, it’s bitter… Perhaps I committed too much… All the punishment worth all my efforts, time and everything I gave her… I deserve this… I’m taking this very sadly… very very sadly… But after all I still have a question for myself…

“Why am I still loving her?!!!”(is it because i seriously don't know how to hide or ignore feelings...=(

Second Year College Life…

What I’m going to talk about this time? Before everything, I’m very stress… Never been so stress… I know I can handle… All about college things… I’m not even recovering from everything… Still very sad… Very very very very very sad for what things done… I was hoping i will be busy… But then, I’m over busy… Without the help of my beloved cute course rep, Mr DPS, I’m suffering… Mr. DPS, please be back fast… I need you man… I’m getting crazy… Haiz…

Seriously was ver y sad and angry with my DAC groupA fellow friends because they acted just like some dumb people… Not everyone… I wish they know… I’m helping you guys… and why can’t you all just help yourself by come to lecture of your own time?? After that, you guys have to message and ask things that already been announced in the lecture?? Noobies!!! Who gonna pay my bills??? Get even more tension when have to explain samething all over again for more than 50times!!! Damn!!!

After that, my class pulak!!! For those who came out with save petrol plan… You guys are seriously smart… I admit… But I’m disappointed!!! You guys should have understood my situation even better than others!! You guys said sorry… Hmmm… Sorry guys… I’m still very disappointed… But how also... I love you guys a lot… I forgive you guys!!! Hehe…

Hmmmm… I realize few things this few weeks… about a ship call as friendship… I felt like I’m getting weak in whatever relationship… Is this because of my anger and everything??? I’m sorry for everything… Please don’t go away from me… Because you guys is the one I have… I need you guys more… I want you guys be my side and support me always… I’m sorry for everything… I know few of them will be reading my blog… I’m sorry k… Hope I’m apologized…

Entering 3rd week, I’m still very much in pressure… Hoping much my cute and handsome boy will back in college as fast as possible… I need him… And then, hope the pressure from students and lecturers will become less… And I got to think of my society things as well… Hope I can sort out all the lecture and tutorial notes…

Oh God!!!! I’m so happy when I’m finishing this blog… I’m so busy… I got things to think of in college… Pressure and stress!!! I love you guys.. Although I’m angry and everything… Thanks for filling up my college time…

My 2nd year starts…Senior???Macam sama je…Have to be better~God Bless everyone...^^

Second year starts… My problem is never been about me… First and for all, BBCK… Come back to her later…^^ Then, my results… It was good… Kinda disappointed with myself because I know I could do better… I still never change… For the whole 1st year, I’m telling the same thing to myself… I’m so dumb!!! Fish!!! Lol… This semester subject quite hard… I’ve to do my best… I am aiming for Aces…

In second year, it’s like so cool… I got juniors… Lol… Very nice… haha… Dunno how to tell these kinda feelings… Just happy lar… lol… 1st week itself, my problem with my course started… I get so pissed… A lot of problem in my head… Couldn’t let it out… I’m not like can tell anyone all my problems… I believe all my problems got no answer… And I cannot tell out my problems… I just love to hide it… I dunno why… I am like hunting for others attention… Aaargh… I’m so bad… I shouldn’t do that… I’ve made my besties worry about myself… I hope you all understand… I’m not okay… But I have to be okay… I’m just being so sad… very sad… and I can’t tell out all my problems… I don’t want to bother you guys’ life either… I’m not doing this on purpose… But I’m just at the death end figuring out a solution to get myself out of this hXXl… I’m very very sorry for being like this… I know you all also got problems… I’ll try my best to be with you all… And my Tachi… I hope you read this someday… I know things been far… I’m trying my best here for you… I know things look different for you… I’m figuring out to make things back to normal… I will do my best… I’m sorry for what I’ve done or even if I’ve hurt you by my words… I’m sorry… But I want you to know you owe me sorries too… I hope I could get a perfect time to talk to you personally… If you read it someday, I hope you know that this is what I feel ryte now… XY and CF… Don’t worry about me lar… I will be ok soon… Thanks…

Just like a blink of eye, one week of my fourth semester finished… OMG… I got a lot of things to do man… Hmmmm… Back to BBCC… I thought she is my only problem… Yea… She is still my only problem… 1st day itself, I felt so damn boring… Like lost something in my life… It was 1:30am… wanted to see whether if she is still alive… Hmmm… Yea… She was… I asked her to accompany me for a walk… We had a long talk… she was the one talking a lot as usual… And then, we eventually talk about our problems… Hmmmmm… Hahahaha… I was controlling my tears… Lol… She was calm only as though nothing happened… But I can see she got problems also… The second day, her result came out… she was so damn happy… She did it as what she said… Congratz again… She called me out for lunch… I didn’t wanna ruin her day… Went WM for our lunch… Was some happy hour… I, who told myself not to meet her was actually meeting her all the nights… We talk story… Those four days, I know that she got a lot of problem though… Hmmmm… I understand… I should stop bothering her with our problems… Our problems will never solve and at the same time it’s not a good time to talk about it… I should try to help her… Not to increase her pressure or tension… okay… I hope whatever problem you face you can get rid of it asap… I will pray for you… God will hear you and your problems… Hmmmm… I’m sorry… I would never add problem for you… Best wishes… I’m seriously sorry…

At this blog, I would like to say sorry to everyone whoever I‘ve hurt you all before… I am sorry… And as I said, I’m going to do better and be better as well… I got a life… I must improve myself… This semester, I going to study like a nerd…^^ Yeah… Lol… I’m sorry again to everyone… And I’m sad for being who I am… Very sad… This is who I am recently… I am very sad… Hoping my friends can be beside me but I just can’t tell out my problems… Haiz… It has been so hard for me… Hmmmm…

A messy blog... but everything is for you…

This happen on the last Sunday (16/5)… I fell down awfully on that stone field... Damn!!!I broke my wrist… and then some scratches on my knee… But believe me it sucks… I went back home and told my mom... lol… Haha… After a while, I went to take a bath… I turn on the water from the shower and stand there... That moment, I realize something… My leg and wrist was like seriously burning and freakingly pain... I was screaming in my bathroom… lol… But the pain seems to be nothing if compared to the pain inside my heart… That pain on my legs was not permanent… It was just for a while… But those pains in heart stays longer with you…^^ It makes you suffer and lastly make you cry for what you’ve done… Yes!!! I’m a loser… I’m regretting for every moments… Is not that you suck… It’s me… I’m the idiot!!! I’m happily admitting it… = (

Why will you want to compare yourself with Nantz??? You are just bringing back the memory… Haiz… This explanation is for you… You actually have to understand this… I’m not going to repeat this thing again… Nantz is someone that I don’t even want to look back in my life… That’s why I remove her from my friend list… And you is just different okay?? You are because I’m kept on looking at you and suffer… I can’t stop looking at your page… At where even after I removed you from my friend list, I’m still checking on you… Now, you understand the difference??? End of this chapter…

The next chapter… On the first day of college, I was hoping to meet you again... But why?? I couldn’t get an answer for this question…^^ I’m too noob.. Haiz… Anyway… As promise, I met you at somewhere Hibiscus Park… lol… I acted like I don’t wanna see ya… Hahaha… But all the way, I was trying to look at you… Failed… Tak nampak pun… Haiz… Shit… But nevermind lar… Maybe it’s better never see you…^^

I’m done as my promise… lol… 1st time, I won I guess… It’s like a great achievement in a very sad way… but nevermind… Atleast, this was my first win… first and last…^^ You said we will be a forever friend and a lot a lot stupid promises and hope… Especially those hope and promises that been made on the 2nd semester… I still remember… I knew it was all fake… But those hopes and promises was what hold me strong and make me live with those false hope... I said things won’t last long… But you want me to touch the wood… lol… hahaha… Saw what’s happening ryte now??? Lol… Yeah… I’m a sore winner… = (

I’m eating burger alone… I’m walking around hostel alone… Dinner with new and unusual environment… not used to it yet… lol.. just like everything alone… It’s not because of you… This is for sure… But it’s just because I lost my heart… It fell down somewhere and maybe to someone… Oh my heart!!! Where are you?? I need you… I do not know what this kinda feeling is known as… I just can’t describe it… Hmmmm… But my heart… Wherever you are… I will get you back one day… for sure!!! Eventhough if it’s in my next generation… I will be waiting and hunting for you… Until I get you fully one day…

I do not know why… I’m thinking of changing college ady… Hmmmm… Haiz… I have to figure out what to tell my mom… as well as I have to select college that I seriously I can afford to pay everything… Is it too late??? Hmmmm… I need someone to talk to… I lost feeling to this college ady… I’m no longer happy?? Should I just shut up and finish my course and go out… WTH?!! Why I am like no other chance?? Can someone help me get out from this crucial situation… I need someone now… Someone… Someone… But who huh?? lol... It’s ok…^^ Nvm… This is how thing should be ryte… Hmmm… KK…

Hey…. Your result coming out tomorrow… Dun worry… I prayed for you ady…^^ Everything gonna be good… I hope you do well… I hope you will be jumping all around the college happily tomorrow…^^ That’s my only wish for this moment… God, I hope you did listen to me today… I hope when someday I will get to know this great news from her… I’m really hoping she get an excellent result tmrw… God bless her…^^

The end of this blog… This blog was for me and myself… This is what I’m thinking at this moment… And yea... I forgot... This is the time i suppose to lepak at the centre of the hostel... OK... Bubye... Darkangel on his way to centre bench... The memorial place.. That's it for this blog...^^ Goodnight...

Weyh…. This is for you….

Hey… I don’t want anything anymore from you… It’s enough k… You are people that will never understand me… okay… I said I wanna leave you… That’s it… ok... I don’t want to suffer anymore… I cannot control myself… okay… I don’t want to tell anything anymore… I don’t know how to tell… just leave me okay… I give you 2days to remove me from your friend list… thank you… Sorry… I don’t know what else to say… Just let it be as what you said… It’s other way round… Everything looks like my fault now… Everyone said I’m wrong too… That’s why I don’t want to care anymore… Let me take this pain till my death… So what??? It’s my fault… I’m childish… Being like an idiot… Pathetic minded… Because I know if I turn back also no point… You won’t understand… U will continue to be like an idiot… and actually hurt me as you don’t know anything… As you don’t understand anything k… What’s the point you be there for me everytime… you said you know everything about me… WTFish!!! I told you that you won’t understand me… Idiot... Every conversation, you must win and end it… You responsible for every ‘scratch’ you did to me… Time given was not less… But you make it even worse… I told you a lot of time... We fought for so many times... And you said you went up think back… Then, WTFish actually u changed… You said you will change things to make me happy… Where it went??? Hahaha… Failed!!!!!!!!!!!!!?? And you could say a lot of crap to cover up your things…. Did you care about what I felt everytime?? Did you???!!!

You ask me why I did say sorry… Hahaha… Very good… Because I’m suffering k… Everytime you cry but I got no one to cry to… You want me to make you happy… But there were no other way round… Am I a toy for you??? I’m human, okay… I got feelings… You will want me to listen to you everything… I will listen but deep inside I’m crying because you don’t know how I felt… I want to tell you... I owned feelings too… Why you don’t want to care about me??? And now, I do know how you think exactly… You will wanna tell me that you got feelings too… haiz…

Deyh… You were talking like as though I don’t want things to be good… Do you still remember our 2nd semester break…? Although I deleted all those messages, it’s still clearly in my mind… Did you actually do as what you said…? I gave chances till the end… but nothing happened right… If I could ask you few question now, can you answer after you think properly and professionally…? The question is if I did ask for forgiving me for what I’ve done now, do you think things will be alright??? If I didn’t take this decision, will you ever know what I felt?? You know we got problem… but you would only settle when you want to settle… That’s cool… WTFish… You gonna tell it was exam time and this and that… ok… What happened after exam??? I was waiting for you all the time to come and talk to me about the problems… You never turn up… For your information, I waited like an idiot!!!!

Do you want to ask me why I’m telling this everthing at once and end up everything at once??? Here is the answer… My answer would be a question… Did you ever listen to my problems properly when I tell you?? For me, I told you a lot of time… I told you one by one… I hope and thought you will actually change yourself and understand me… Hahaha… I think I’m biggest noob here… Small things become so big and when I tell you, you could just never take it seriously… And now when it’s too big, and when I’m crying everyday and when the scar in my heart is so big, did you even realize that??? You cannot even realize this big thing… Hahaha… You said you cared for me more than anyone… lol… Hahaha… Hahaha..T.T Great deyh… You cared your very best I guess… but I no longer can take it… And now what you gonna say??? Are you gonna say that you actually faced worst things before in your life and I making small things big??? Hahaha… Just tell… That’s the last things I can listen to now…

You said you can’t believe i just walked pass that way yesterday… And for this you came up with a mind that you wanna leave me??? So, how many times I should have leaved you??? You said u cared for me the most… Can I doubt it now??? Do you know what I feeling now?? Come on!!! You are older... You know you went through so many things before… That’s your stupid move… great… I’m doubting whether whatever you told before about yourself is real now… In my blog, I said I will try my very best… And I need time… Did you see how demanding are you…? All this while, age was a problem between us too… You pressed me so down because your power as you are older… And thanks… Don’t denial because this is the truth… And I believe I told you before about this and eventually you talked something and shut my mouth…

I know you sick of me too… Thanks… Be great in your life… Do what you suppose to do… You know what… I feel damn pity towards you… Because you didn’t know that you hurt me so much... I know how truthful you were to me… I believed you more than my life… I gave everything to you… I did my very best to you… I believe I did so much for you… And you did your part as well… I’m not expecting anything from you anymore now… Just want to thanks you for whatever you done for me… Thank you to care for me more than anyone… Although it never enough, but thanks for your efforts… I guess you know what to do and I know what to do… Hmmmm… yea… When I saw you next time, I hope I can see you laughing and enjoying your life with your friends… You should understand why I said this… If you don’t know, I’m just so speechless… Hey… kindly remove me from your every friend list(Fb and MSN)… Start not to read my blog as well… Thanks… It would help you a lot… Don’t emo…^^ I know you can do good… Don’t worry… God Bless you… And wish whatever you do after this brings a happy ending… Good luck and lastly… As I said I loved you more than anyone… And this from the bottom of my heart…

I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!!!!

… Can I say “The End” this time???

S-O-R-R-Y!!!

HEY YOU OUT THERE.... I'M SO SORRY
IM JUST SO SO SORRY
I WONDER HOW YOU FEEL
SHOUD HAVE BEEN VERY HARD FOR YOU ALSO RYTE...
>.<
I'M SO SORRY
AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE,WHY YOU STILL CARE ABOUT ME?
WHY YOU HAVE TO?
I KNOW I IGNORED YOU ALOT...
I'M SO GUILTY FOR IT...
WEYH...
IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING
WAKE UP AND SLAP YOURSELF
YOU GOT A BETTER LIFE TOO
WAKE UP AND FIGHT FOR THAT...
DON'T BE DOWN ALSO OKAY...
YOU ASKED ME TO ADVICE YOU TODAY
I DUNNO WHY YOU ASKED THAT
BUT HAVE A GREAT LIFE K
EAT PROPERLY
SLEEP PROPERLY
ENJOY LIFE WHEN U SUPPOSE TO
STUDY AND COME UP LIFE
HOPE YOU WILL BE OK
I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR RESULTS FOR SURE
AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO DO WHATEVER YOU ASKED TODAY...
I'M SORRY
HAIZ
I'M JUST SO SORRY
BE SOME GREAT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
EVERYTHING SEEM TO BE SO WRONG NOW
I HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE NOW
I COULDN'T TAKE THIS THING AWAY FROM ME
I'M SWIMMING IN THE SEA CALLED SEA OF SORROW
GUESS WILL BE DROWNING SOON
GOODBYE
I HATE HOW THINGS IS NOW
I HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE
IT'S JUST BECAUSE I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE
I'M SORRY, GIRL...
>.<
T.T

Lately~It’s not about can or cannot… It’s all about want or don’t want~any shortcut~leave me alone…>.<(7thMay)

Hmmmm… Entering third day… I lost my appetite… Screaming to myself to sleep… Suffering from insomnia… This feeling is too hard… Couldn’t describe myself… Telling around to friends that I’m no longer with her… But we weren’t even together… but we were close… and now we are not… Just like magic (it supposes to be a joke but it’s no longer a joke now)… Hunting for support… I need people to listen to me… It’s been rare for me to depend on other people (even friends)… So far, it’s been few of them I talk to… I explain the whole situation to them… I didn’t know I’m this bad… But I couldn’t… Tears have been my close friends this few days… As I’m writing, tears just by my eyes… we are smiling to each other… Tears know I need him… Well… I’m controlling it… Somehow, it shouldn’t come out this time… It was my decision… I have to face it…

I’m reading the last conversation again and again and again and again… never felt bored… But hated myself… memories are every where… Everywhere… Everything… Eventhough it sucks, it makes me recall every moments we went through together… Hahahaha… Stupid, darkangel!!! That’s my routine job every night before sleep… I was talking to my friend but then I was describing everything about you… When I saw old town white coffee, when I saw fashion magazines, when talks about shopping, when talk about studies, when talks about driving, when talks about diabetes, when talk………….. Hmmmm… What am I doing???

Aaaargh!!!! Is it cannot?? I just want to forget everything… Everything… Do we have time machine??? I hope I never met her… I’m overwhelmed by memories… Too many memories already… My friend told me 1thing… He said… Darkangel, now it’s not about can or cannot but it’s about want or don’t want… hmmm… It’s true… It’s about me… My thinking… I have to and I want to get things done and move on… please… But I don’t want to suffer… Are there any shortcuts??? I couldn’t face it… That’s why… I shouldn’t even have committed so much about this… Haiz… OMG… Emo liao lor… >.<

Hey, whoever you call as darkangel today… remember… This is life… No turning back… Once done, it’s done… Now, it’s done… Whatever things you do after this, you have to think properly… I lost in a race called life… And now, I’m climbing up from the fall… Still in the process of climbing up… I need thousands of hands from whom I called them as friends to support and bring me up… Haiz… Huh??? Wat I want now??? I’m scared now to believe anyone… But I shouldn’t be like this… I’m just so done when I said it’s so done… I’m not sure… I want to be alone… ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE… I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

THE END…. (And these two simple words make me think about her too because she loves to use these words to end any conversations… >.<)

Second Real Fall~The End of It (5May2010, 04:56am)~BBCC, It’s Over!!!!

Hey, BBCC… I’m not gonna explain to you how I felt the whole way… If you dun understand what you’ve done, then it’s ok… it’s just that, thank you for everything.... thanks for every single moment that we spend together… I never thought things will become like this… I’m sorry… I’m so stingy… I know I never think about you but I have to think about myself… I’m under deep depression because of you… And I’m still doing the same mistakes by thinking of you 24/7…. Hahaha… Guess… I shouldn’t even have met you… I knew when you first kissed me but still I committed myself because I thought things will change… Hahaha… Things changed!!! I changed when you are the one who suppose to change… You never gonna know my feeling because you are just an idiot thinking of yourself… Hahaha… And yea… hahaha… Here it is… It’s over…

5th May2010, early morning, at around2-3pm… I was chatting with my friend... And I told her about you (BBCC)… Dun worry, BBCC… Everything is good… She said I’m an idiot for ignoring you, for replying all your messages like an idiot and yea for keep everything inside me… And she said I’m in love… I told her that I can’t get a chance to tells things properly because end up it hurts a lot and we fight… And you came online… She urged me to tell her everything and explain those situations… As usual u will talk a lot… and something different that day when you were telling you seriously like this guy… guess… it’s not the time to tell you things… You are happy… And I’m not going to spoil anything… I don’t feel like telling ady… It’s time for me to let things go I guess…^^Haha… no words to explain the feeling… Couldn’t explain… like lost something… Hmmmm… I got to find out what actually that feeling is…

BBCC… I want you to know this… Keep this in your mind forever… I told you this things before but you said your ex was so nice and won’t have this kind of thinking… U makes me laugh… But nevermind… it’s my responsibility to tell you this again… guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. I used to cancel all my night plans and spend the whole night with you… we talk stories till we almost fell asleep… u usually talks a lot… I will be listening the whole way… But do you realize that you will be only talking about your ex’s and who you meet and who you think like you and which guy is cute…. Hmmmm…. And lastly, u will tell I’m not going for looks… It’s a schedule ryte… And do you know what? It’s not about jealousy… First time you tell this, I take it… Second time, I took it… Third time, I took it also…. If you gonna repeat the same thing for hundreds and thousands time… How am I supposed to take it??? I’m in front you… Can you please talk about me or atleast something that can make me happy or things that I can give feedback on??? And you will make sure I’m listening to you not… hahaha… Kalpana, if you think I’m jealous, then go ahead... Because I know I’m pissed with things…

Hey, do you know about the two girls rules???? Rules No.1-girls are always correct… Rules No.2- if u thinks they are wrong, please refers to rules No.1… I guess you understand… You never listen to me and my thing properly before… You always say I never think on your shoes… and you say you does… And if you do, what is the big deal??? Coz you never change… Everything is about what you say… I gave out a lot… My energy, my commitment and everything… saddest part is u never change… U says I changed a lot… hahaha… yea… From a ok to ko…

I’m sorry… Not because of what I’ve done or how did I hurt you… I was hunting for truth… I wanted answer… But I know I can’t get from you… So, that night, when I was chatting with you… I actually did show few parts of the conversation to my friend… She could just say pity you, darkangel... She is the one who asked me to explain everything to you and she is the one who say pity you, darkangel... She told something that it’s repeated in my life for twice… She said I’m a good guy and will get a better girl and BBCC is just someone that I can’t get along… Damn funny… What I’ve been done for past one year with her then???

The blog is going too long… I have to stop… Things just done… Still remember the message that you send before I lie to you that I want to sleep… u said… oh. Ok then. Sorry I kept talking about myself. N thanks 4 listening.tc.nite dei. Sweet dreams (5th may 2010, 05:00am)… lol… BBCC, now only u know???? And the next day, u apologizes again… Hey, what’s the point??? U said I used to be a good listener and now I’m not… And I have to tell you that I suffered that much because I was a good listener… And now, I really don’t care… Don’t even bother… But I admit I’m still thinking about you 24/7… But it just a fool of myself… I gonna stop…

This is my last word to you… I don’t care if you cry or anything… I know you are strong enough now…^^ Good… I will pray for your results… And yea… About those guys… Be smart when you take decision k… Don’t suffer later… I bet you cant take anymore suffers… Excel in everything in your life… I don’t wanna be a blocking stone of your happiness… I don’t know you anymore… I got life… and so do you… I don’t care what you want to tell about me to your friends… You think I’m an idiot or chicken or whatever… Go ahead!!! I dun care!!! You do ask why I’m so good with Chinese but not Indian... hahaha… it’s because of things that you won’t understand… You still a small and pathetic thinking kid… Before things end, want you to know that you are too sweet to me… thanks a lot… it was so nice of you…^^ Millions of thanks, BBCC…

When you read finish, we r done… just D-O-N-E!!!!(The decision I took on 5thMay2010, 04:56am…)