Hmmmm… Entering third day… I lost my appetite… Screaming to myself to sleep… Suffering from insomnia… This feeling is too hard… Couldn’t describe myself… Telling around to friends that I’m no longer with her… But we weren’t even together… but we were close… and now we are not… Just like magic (it supposes to be a joke but it’s no longer a joke now)… Hunting for support… I need people to listen to me… It’s been rare for me to depend on other people (even friends)… So far, it’s been few of them I talk to… I explain the whole situation to them… I didn’t know I’m this bad… But I couldn’t… Tears have been my close friends this few days… As I’m writing, tears just by my eyes… we are smiling to each other… Tears know I need him… Well… I’m controlling it… Somehow, it shouldn’t come out this time… It was my decision… I have to face it…
I’m reading the last conversation again and again and again and again… never felt bored… But hated myself… memories are every where… Everywhere… Everything… Eventhough it sucks, it makes me recall every moments we went through together… Hahahaha… Stupid, darkangel!!! That’s my routine job every night before sleep… I was talking to my friend but then I was describing everything about you… When I saw old town white coffee, when I saw fashion magazines, when talks about shopping, when talk about studies, when talks about driving, when talks about diabetes, when talk………….. Hmmmm… What am I doing???
Aaaargh!!!! Is it cannot?? I just want to forget everything… Everything… Do we have time machine??? I hope I never met her… I’m overwhelmed by memories… Too many memories already… My friend told me 1thing… He said… Darkangel, now it’s not about can or cannot but it’s about want or don’t want… hmmm… It’s true… It’s about me… My thinking… I have to and I want to get things done and move on… please… But I don’t want to suffer… Are there any shortcuts??? I couldn’t face it… That’s why… I shouldn’t even have committed so much about this… Haiz… OMG… Emo liao lor… >.<
Hey, whoever you call as darkangel today… remember… This is life… No turning back… Once done, it’s done… Now, it’s done… Whatever things you do after this, you have to think properly… I lost in a race called life… And now, I’m climbing up from the fall… Still in the process of climbing up… I need thousands of hands from whom I called them as friends to support and bring me up… Haiz… Huh??? Wat I want now??? I’m scared now to believe anyone… But I shouldn’t be like this… I’m just so done when I said it’s so done… I’m not sure… I want to be alone… ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! LEAVE ME ALONE… I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END…. (And these two simple words make me think about her too because she loves to use these words to end any conversations… >.<)
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